You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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