dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
