K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just had sex on a roof
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
