While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
