On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
