soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Bring me that man meat
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
