do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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