We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
