The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
