You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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