Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just found a bag of teeth...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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