So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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