Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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