You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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