I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
