That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
honey bunches of taint.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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