Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize