there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
organizing the empties. That sober.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
