YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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