yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
