wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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