Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
