It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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