I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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