I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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