His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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