Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
