I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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