Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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