My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
