windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
