Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
