I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
honey bunches of taint.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
