AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
