How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
