why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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