All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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