Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
