I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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