Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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