Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
