Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
