I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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