Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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