Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
