I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
