Sponge bath it is.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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