I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
