I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
