Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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