I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
love makes seman taste better
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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