if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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