I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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