Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
