How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
