I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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